


My Angel

by Hamilham



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Divorce, F/M, M/M, Philip is precious, alex is sad, alexander and eliza are divorced, laurens is an angel, no literally that's the plot, philip's pov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-03 03:58:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10235372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hamilham/pseuds/Hamilham
Summary: Philip's life is a mess. His parents recently got into a nasty divorce, splitting his family in half. Philip went with his father, while the rest of his siblings stayed with their mother.Philip had always secretly longed to be an only child, but not like this.Philip struggles with balancing middle school and his home life as he adjusts to living as an only child with his emotionally unbalanced, but loving father. He feels ready to give up.Then one day, he meets an angel.His name is John Laurens.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my first thing on this website! I don't know how the formatting works so sorry if I get it wrong.

Philip couldn't believe how uncomfortable he felt sitting in the front seat of his father's car. He had earbuds in, concealed under his silky brown locks of hair. Some meaningless pop song was playing, though Philip wasn't paying attention to it at all. He was using them as a way to block out the sounds of his father's occasional sniffle or, God forbid, any actual conversation the man might try to begin.

Philip absolutely loved his father. That wasn't debatable. However, with the recent events, it was hard to ignore how... Damaged the man seemed. He rarely smiled. He got lost in his thoughts more often than usual. He was much too quiet and still. Even at fourteen, Philip knew something terrible was happening. Before everything, Philip remembered that Alexander was much like fireworks. Loud, exciting, and happy. Now, however, he was more like an extinguished fire. Cold. Dark. Still.

Looking back on it, Philip could remember the exact moment that everything began to go downhill. It had happened around a year ago. His father had received a letter telling him the fate of his friend, John Laurens. It told about how he'd been shot by a particularly violent man during a Black Lives Matter protest, mortally wounding him. The man had been arrested, of course, but Laurens didn't make it. He died in the hospital.

Philip had always liked Laurens, and was saddened by his death. He was always incredibly kind, and always brought small gifts for Philip and his siblings. For some reason, though, his mother seemed to dislike him. Philip suspected that his mother's feelings of him is what made him visit so rarely, despite the fact that it seemed to make everyone happy.

After Laurens' death, Alexander smiled a little less, investing himself fully into his work. The family saw less and less of him. Then they went on vacation to visit Philip's grandfather. That's when the affair happened. Thinking back on it, Philip remembered how his father seemed a bit sadder when they returned from his grandfather's, though Philip had naturally shrugged it off. He even managed to shrug it off when his father seemed to have less money with him. He shrugged it off when his father was gone more.

Of course, it all made sense once Philip read the Reynolds Pamphlet. Following that was the divorce, leaving Philip the only child in his father's custody. Once everything was finalized Alexander had taken everything that he had to his name and left, wanting to rent a small apartment in New York City.

They were on their way there now, and every mile that passed Philip became more and more worried for his future. Would he ever see his siblings again? What about his mother? Would she be alright? Most likely. In all reality, Philip worried about his Father the most. Even before everything bad started to happen, he'd never been the most stable man.

At a young age, Philip learned to always check the weather reports in case of thunderstorms. His father tended to freak out in the more severe ones, often either closing himself off from everyone or pressing against his nearest family member or friend. He also tended to stress when one of his children or his (now ex)wife came down with any sickness. As he got older, Philip began to notice the more subtle things, like how his father seemed to obsess over having enough money despite the fact that, from what Philip could remember, they'd never struggled financially in the past. Or even how he despised jokes about being gay, or jokes about suicide.

Philip knew why, of course, though he wouldn't tell his father how he knew. When Philip had turned ten, his mother had sat him down and told him about his father's shitty life. She explained about how he'd lost a lot of people in his life. 

Maybe that was why he was taking the divorce so harshly. Philip pulled his ear buds out and looked over at his father. He was staring straight ahead, his fingers clenched tightly on the steering wheel. He had a sad, longing expression in his dark, chocolaty eyes. He'd been crying again, as was obvious due to the dried tear stains on his cheeks and his puffy red eyes.

"Pa?" Philip asked softly. No response. No change in his father's face. Not even a blink.

"Hey Pa..?"He tried again. Still no response. 

Philip reached out and put a hand on his shoulder gently, feeling guilty as his father flinched at his touch and quickly looked at him. He put on a smile that didn't reach his pained eyes.

"Huh? What is it, Pip?" His voice was raspy, likely from crying. Had this happened a few months ago, Philip would've gotten upset over the nickname. Now, however, he couldn't help but smile at it softly. It made him feel oddly happy. 

"I'm a little hungry. You told me to tell you when I wanted dinner, right?" Alexander nodded and returned his attention to the road as he turned, going in the direction of where the sign told them was the nearest McDonalds. 

"Yes, of course! I was getting a bit hungry myself. I hope McDonalds is good. I'm honestly qite fond of it, even though I don't eat it often. That's probably for the best though, right? It's super unhealthy, both to your body and the environment. They do make a lot of donations, though, and a while back I heard..." Philip smiled as he listened to his Father ramble about the donations McDonalds has made to charity and talking about how they treated their animals.

It was almost like old times. Philip knew his father loved to speak, and he was good at it, too. He was more than happy to listen to his wild speeches. 

"You know, I've always loved freckles. They're adorable, especially on you and..." Alexander's expression became pained and his voice trailed off. Philip felt cold and he wondered how much it would help if he managed to get his father to talk.

It probably wasn't healthy to bottle up your emotions like that.

"Me and who, Pa?" Philip asked gently, looking at his father curiously. He tried to keep himself calm as he noticed that Alexander was close to tears. 

"... Pip? Do you remember my friend Laurens?" He asked softly. Philip nodded. So that's what it was about.

"Yeah... He was the one who kinda looked like me, and you used to joke that he was my real mom?" Philip smiled softly at the memory. He'd called him 'mom' all day, much to his embarrassment. He remembered how much it flustered the other freckled man, and how much joy his father had found in his embarrassment.

"... I miss him sometimes." There was a pause. "All the time." Philip nodded. 

"I understand, Pa. He was your best friend, right? You two used to act like teen girls with each other, and it was hilarious! I miss him too. He was amazing."

He studied his father's face and saw an expression that he knew all too well. His father was arguing with himself.

"... Do you want to know a secret that I've never told anyone?" Hamilton's voice was small. Quiet. It was so unlike his usual personality that it sent chills down Philip's spine. He looked up at his father and nodded. 

"Of course, Pa. You can tell me anything. I'm here for you!" He smiled at him uneasily, but he felt better when he saw his father relax. 

"Do you promise not to think any less of me?" His voice was a bit stronger. A bit more like himself.

"Of course. You're my dad. I wouldn't think any less of you ever." Philip wondered what could possibly be so terrible.

"Maria..." Alexander's voice cracked slightly and he stopped talking. Philip froze at the name. He learned to hate that name, though he knew he shouldn't. He couldn't help but despise the woman that tore his life apart.

"Maria wasn't the first person I cheated on your mother with." His voice was back to being tiny. Ashamed. Philip slumped back against the seat, feeling numb. 

"Pa..?" He spoke after a minute of tense silence. He was happy that his dad was talking to him, but he didn't like what he was hearing.

"What?" He asked softly. 

"How many women have you slept with other than Mom since you've been married?" He had to know. If he didn't, he had a feeling it would eat him up inside. Devour him until he was as empty as his father. 

"None." There was another minute of silence before realization slowly dawned on Philip as h went back over their conversation. He looked over at his father and wasn't surprised to see that he was crying. He opened his mouth to ask a question, but he closed it. After a few moments, he said a word so quiet it was nearly silent.

"You really loved Laurens, didn't you?"

His silence said more than any word ever could.

Philip said nothing as they pulled into the McDonalds parking lot and slowly parked in a free spot. More things made sense now. His mother's dislike for the freckled man, how close he seemed to his father, even the letters that sometimes arrived. His father liked to send letters to Laurens, even though it was outdated.

He looked at his father and saw a broken man. A stranger. Philip wanted to fix that. He was going to fix that.


	2. Chapter 2

They exited the car and walked inside quietly. Philip looked at his father and stood close beside him. He smiled when he began to run his fingers through his hair like he did when he was younger. Now, Philip was nearly as tall as his dad, though that wasn't hard. Alexander was awfully short, after all.

They ordered their food and sat down at the table next to each other. Philip put a hand on his dad's shoulder. 

"... I'm not upset or anything." He lied gently. While Philip didn't really have anything against gay people, the idea of his father with a man grossed him out... Though honestly he was glad it was with Laurens, at least. Laurens was amazing. 

"That's a lie." Alexander said after a moment. He'd only ordered a salad, and he picked at it slightly. Philip frowned. His father hadn't been eating lately, and he was looking thinner than usual... Usually when he didn't eat, Eliza convinced him, but...

Philip realized then how much of a mess his father was in.

"I'm just a bit surprised. How about you eat? You'll feel better afterwards."

Philip couldn't help but feel concerned when all his father did was laugh bitterly.

The salad was left mostly uneaten.

 

By the time they reached their new home, it was late into the night. Hamilton had already moved a lot of their stuff there, and that was the last trip. Philip looked around curiously and Alexander pointed towards a door. "That's your room right there. Mine is the one right across from it. The bathrooms the next door down. Go get some sleep, son. You'll be starting school tomorrow, okay?"

Philip was too tired to argue. He curled up on his bare mattress and pulled a blanket over him. Sleep came swiftly. His rest was fitful, and in the morning when his father woke him up he felt as if he'd barely rested. 

He sat up and stretched, smiling at Alexander. "G'morning, Pa." Alexander looked as if he hadn't slept and, knowing him, he hadn't. Philip got up and took a shower. When he got out, he dried himself off thoroughly. He pulled on a simple yet admittedly cute outfit. His dark skinny jeans and a blue sweater, due to the cold weather. He fixed his hair, deciding to pull it up in a ponytail to do something special for his first day at his new school. 

He walked out of the bathroom feeling refreshed. As he walked into the kitchen, he saw his father do a double take and Philip began to feel uncomfortable as he felt himself being examined. Alexander's face had gone a little pale and he looked ready to cry. He had his hands wrapped around a steaming cup of coffee, and they were shaking.

Philip frowned. "What's wrong, pa..?" He tilted his head, confused. He looked like he'd seen a ghost. As is his voice had broken a spell, Alexander shook his head and looked away. "Nothing, son. You look nice today. I like what you did with your hair." He set a bowl of cereal down at the table for Philip, who began to eat it hungrily. 

"You should eat too." Philip tried softly. Philip sighed in relief as he poured himself a bowl of cereal and began to eat it ravenously, as if not eating had finally caught up to him. He finished his coffee and stood up. 

"I'm going to go freshen up. Get ready for school, alright?" Alexander smiled and left, leaving Philip alone with an empty bowl. He gathered the dirty dishes and washed them quickly, not wanting a dirty house to cause stress to his already upset dad.

Philip gathered his supplies and waited patiently. He was nervous, but he knew he'd do fine. Back at his old school, he hadn't had many issues. He was attractive, he had a good personality, he wasn't poor... The only thing anyone ever gave him shit for was his father. Surely out here nobody would've heard of the scandal?

Hamilton came out of his room, his hair had been brushed and pulled back into a neat ponytail, and he had even put a little bow in his hair. He'd changed into some decent clothes that he hadn't been wearing for days. Philip smiled at him and followed him as he walked outside.

The drive to the school was uneventful, other than Alexander's constant parent questions.

"Are you sure you'll be okay with school food? I could always pack you lunch--" Hamilton started to say in a nervous voice. He wanted Philip to be as happy as possible. The thought honestly hurt Philip's heart. The fact that his father was scared of losing him made him feel sad.

"I'm fine, Pa. Thanks, though." He really was thankful. He appreciated his concern. At least then Philip knew that he had a reason to carry on.

"If you ever need anything just call me I'll be right over to pick you up, okay?" Philip could hear the desperation and the fear underlining his voice. He just wanted to be a good father so much...

"I'll be fine." He was more worried about his father than himself. What was he going to do while alone? His boss, Washington, had given him the day off to adjust to his new house, and he probably didn't have anything to do.

"If the kids give you any trouble tell me immediately and I'll figure out how to handle it--" Philip actually smiled.

"I'll be fine. I can take care of myself." He loved his father.

 

School was sounding . Before, Philip had had plenty of friends. And when he friends failed, he always had his younger siblings. Now he was completely alone as he stood outside of the school office, waiting for his guide.

Apparently, he was getting a fellow student to walk him to his classes, due to the fact that the school was massive and easy for new students to get lost in. After a few minutes, a very pretty dark skinned girl emerged from the office, a small smile on her lips. 

"Hello. Are you Philip Hamilton?" She asked. Philip nodded and grinned at her. 

"That's me! And what's your name, miss lovely lady?" She rolled her eyes, chuckling softly.

"I'm Theodosia Burr. Pleasure to meet you, Mister Hamilton." Philip shook his head. 

"Burr? As in Aaron Burr?" Philip asked, a bit excited. Theodosia tilted her head. 

"How do you know my father?" She seemed genuinely confused, and it caused Philip to chuckle a little bit. 

"My dad works with him. He talks about him a lot. Sometimes he talks about how brilliant he is, sometimes he talks about how terrible he is. He must be an interesting guy." Philip explained. A look of realization dawned on Theodosia's face. 

"Oh... You're the son of that Hamilton? Oh boy. My father complains about your father all the time!" Philip's expression fell, but Theodosia noticed and quickly continued to talk.

"Not bad things, really! He just says he talks too much, though according to him he's been a lot quieter lately. My dad sounded a bit worried last time he spoke about him." She shrugged and Philip winced. 

"Yeah he's... Going through a lot. Divorce." Theodosia nodded and smiled softly. 

"Oh dear. I'm sorry. I'm glad you talked to me though. I have a feeling we're going to be amazing friends." She held out her hand and Philip took it happily. He'd already made a friend!

He smiled softly. Maybe school wouldn't be so bad after all.


	3. Chapter 3

Philip's day at school was largely uneventful. People were cold to him, other than Theodosia of course. The two ended up exchanging numbers, much to Philip's delight. First day at school and he already had a girl's number! Honestly, though, Philip saw Theodosia as more of a platonic friend than anything. 

The two stood together outside of the school as they waited for their parents to pick them up. They chatted with each other easily. Philip felt oddly relaxed in her presence, though it didn't completely get rid of his stress. Was his father alright? He didn't know how he'd do alone...

Some part of Philip thought it was ironic that the son was worried about the father. But it was true. Alexander was dealing with a lot, and Philip just wanted to help. Theodosia perked up and looked away, cutting off their casual conversation about the best type of fruit as a man Philip recognized to be Aaron Burr approached the two after he'd spotted his daughter.

Philip had seen him before, but it had been a long time ago. Burr blinked at him and offered a small smile. "You're Hamilton's boy, right? Philip?" He asked coolly, his voice even and smooth. Philip nodded. "Yessir. Aaron Burr, right?" 

Burr nodded. "I hope you're getting on well with my daughter. Theodosia gathered all of her things and stood up, ready to follow her father. Burr turned and began to walk away before looking back at Philip, his smile a bit more strained. 

"And Philip? Please take care of your father." Philip was surprised to see a small flash of concern in his eyes. Philip decided that Aaron was an alright guy, even if his father did talk shit about him often. He was glad someone else was concerned about his dad. 

Philip nodded and Burr guided Theodosia to his dark colored car. The young girl waved at Philip as she rode away, her father at the wheel. Philip fidgeted as the car left and eventually vanished from his line of sight. He was happy that of all the people his father worked with, it was Aaron Burr's child he befriended.

He chuckled softly to himself as he imagined what would go down if Theodosia was a Jefferson. That would make his life living hell. His father would definitely not approve of that friendship. He thought he heard someone say something behind him, but when he turned there was nobody there. He blinked, confused, before turning around when he heard a car horn.

His dad was there, finally. He happily got into the car, grinning as he looked over at him. He seemed wide awake, but not in a rested way. It as definitely more of an I-Just-Drank-Four-Coffees way. He looked awful and his eyes were once again puffy from crying, but Philip just shrugged it off. He'd learn to fix himself eventually.

His father was wearing a baggy sweater that had a cartoon turtle that made him look even smaller than he already was. Philip felt like he'd seen the sweater before, but he was pretty sure his father hadn't been wearing it. He was also wearing old, ragged sweatpants and house shoes. A far cry from the usual extravagant clothes he was fond of. 

Hamilton was more than eager to hear about Philip's day in the car. As soon as he buckled up, Philip was being interrogated. 

"How was your first day? Did you make any friends?" Alexander was practically bouncing in his seat as he began to drive. Philip smiled softly.

"It was great! I met a girl named Theodosia Burr, and she's amazing." Philip spouted out excitedly. Hamilton nodded. 

"Theodosia Burr as in Aaron Burr's daughter?" He asked, tilting his head. Philip nodded. 

"Yeah, I met her dad today, too. He seems alright." Philip kept to 'alright' instead of complimenting him, because some days his father was pissed at the world for no reason and he didn't want to upset him. 

But Alexander just nodded, grinning. "Ah, girls... Well, I've never seen her, but I'm sure she's beautiful. Her father's quite an attractive man, and her mother was the same." Philip smiled. 

"Yeah, she is. She's really nice, too."

"I bet... It's good to have close friends... You can never have too many of those, I assure you..." Hamilton looked sad again, and Philip began to feel sad as well. 

He knew that his father had made many good friends in his life, but up at this point Philip was pretty sure Aaron Burr was the closest person to him. 

Hercules Mulligan, or Herc, as everyone called him, moved away and just fell out of touch. He had important things to do and he had no reason to stay. Lafayette had moved back to France, and he was also pretty much silent to them ever since he got married. 

And then of course there was Laurens, but he was dead, of course, and as much as Philip felt uncomfortable knowing that his father had an ongoing affair with his mom with more than one person, he knew how close the two were and he wished that Laurens was alive. None of this would've happened if that were the case. His father probably wouldn't have gone public with that affair.

When they got home, Philip walked to his room and stretched. He took down his hair and relaxed on his bed, sighing. He'd had a long day. He shut his eyes and prepared to just take a nap and ignore all of the thoughts pressing at his mind. He hoped that everything would get better soon. This dreary sadness has been looming over his head ever since the affair.

His father would get over it eventually. As he started to slip off to sleep, he heard something that made his blood go cold. Sobbing.

He wanted to go out and comfort him, but just the thought of it made him uncomfortable. He knew it was immature, but maybe if he ignored it it would go away. It had to. His father would get over it. He had to!

Philip heard a soft knocking at his window and he froze. What..? He sat up and walked over, pushing aside his soft curtains. There was nothing there, of course. It still unnerved him. He was probably imagining things, right? 

Somebody cleared their throat behind him, and he turned around immediately, startled. 

Standing in front of him was none other than John Laurens. He blinked. 

"What?" Philip asked, disbelieving. He wiped his eyes. He had to still be asleep. He was dreaming or something. This man was dead... However, the longer he looked, the more he realized something was wrong. 

The man practically glowed. His skin seemed to radiate warmth, and his eyes, while filled with worry, seemed relatively stress free. His hair was up in a ponytail just as it always had been. He was wearing a T-shirt and jeans, but they were bright white. Then he noticed the wings.

They seemed to be too small to fly with, but they were still there. They were dark brown at the top, and they faded to white at the bottom. They were splattered with small, darker feathers all over them though.

Laurens smiled, but his eyes were still sad. Philip took a hesitant step towards him before running over and hugging him. He was comfortingly warm and he closed his eyes, feeling the stress leave him. Laurens was back-- He didn't know how, but he didn't question it.

He could fix his father and make him happy again. Finally someone could take care of him and make everything happy again! Philip sighed in relief. 

"Please tell me you're real..." He mumbled weakly, pulling out of the hug. Laurens looked down at him and gently ran his hand through his hair. 

"I am, 'Lip." Laurens said after a moment. Philip sighed, relief running through him. 

"What's going on? How are you here? I thought you were..." He trailed off, once again seeing the wings. 

"I am, unfortunately... But I couldn't leave two of the people I care about most in the world suffer like this. I've seen bad stuff in your future..." The worry in his eyes increased, and Philip felt a little on edge. 

"Like what..?" He asked cautiously. Laurens' expression became guarded. 

"Not important. What is important is that I got here in time to help you guys. Your dad can't see me, but you can and I think-"

"Why not?!" Philip felt bad for interrupting him, but now his mouth hung opened in disbelief. Having Laurens back, even if he was dead, would drastically improve his father's mood. Laurens smiled sadly. 

"He couldn't handle seeing me... Plus, I don't think I can stay forever, and I don't think he can handle losing me again, as much as I hate to admit it... Now do you wanna help me save your dad or not?" 

Save his dad. Philip felt uneasy with the wording, but he nodded quickly. 

"Anything to make my Pa happy again." He said, looking at his door. Laurens smiled. 

"Good... Now get out of this room and go comfort him, okay? Ask him if he's alright. Ask if he wants to talk about it. I'll be right beside you while you do, okay?" Philip nodded. 

"Can I um... Ask you a question first..?" Philip asked cautiously. Not only was he curious, he was stalling. He wasn't good at comforting people...

"Ask ahead, little guy. I'm here for you." Laurens seemed more than eager to answer his questions. That was good, because he had a lot of those. 

"... Pa told me that you and him were um... A thing? Even when he was with Ma..?" Philip asked meekly. He felt immensely uncomfortable, especially when Laurens' face turned red and he looked like a deer caught in headlights. 

"... Can we have this conversation later? Alexander needs comfort now." Philip opened his mouth to respond, but shut it once he realized that he wasn't going to answer. Laurens was almost as stubborn as his father, so he knew it would be fruitless to argue with him. 

He sighed and opened the door, slipping out of his room and walking to his father's door. He reached for the doorknob but Laurens put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Always knock first." He said gently. "Unless I tell you otherwise." 

Philip nodded and knocked gently. The sniffling behind the door stopped. 

"Pa..? Can I come in?" There was no hesitation. 

"Of course." His voice was raspy and strained from crying. Laurens shifted and heard him mutter something under his breath. As soon as Philip opened the door, Laurens hurried into the room with his tiny wings fluttering and sat on the bed beside Alexander, leaning close to him but not touching him. 

Philip ignored this and sat on the other side of his father, who was sitting on the edge of the bed and crying. Philip wrapped his arms around him and Alex leaned into his touch. Philip felt mildly uncomfortable, but that faded when he realized how his father relaxed. 

"He loves to be hugged and comforted, Phil. He's probably been feeling unloved. That's fine, though. Just hug him and tell him you love him. Tell him how good of a father he is." 

Philip smiled weakly. He could handle that. 

"... I love you, Pa. You're an amazing dad, y'know that?" Alexander nodded, smiling softly. 

"I love you too, Pip-Pip. Thanks for being here... I'm such a mess." He pulled away and lied down. Laurens began to gently run his hands though Alexander's hair, which was down. He didn't seem to notice, so Philip ignored it. 

"I understand, Pa. It'll get better though, alright? I'm still here, and I'll always be here for you." He saw him smile and shut his eyes. Soon he was snoring softly, asleep. That made Philip feel much better. 

"Poor guy..." Laurens mumbled. "He lost everybody again. I don't know how he handles it." Despite himself, Philip was tempted to spit out that he wasn't doing a very good job of handling it... But that would be cruel and untrue. Philip was really one of the last people his father had...

Philip realized with a jolt how true what Laurens had said was. Again. It wasn't the first time he'd lost a family. Guilt flooded through Philip and he felt like he was going to cry. His poor dad didn't deserve this. Philip made a mental note to try and find someone for his father to hook up with that would definitely stay.

He saw that Laurens was crying silently. He must be going through a lot too. Maybe he just realized how broken Alexander was. 

Laurens cuddled up beside him, looking sick. 

"I wish I was alive. None of this would've happened if I hadn't gone and gotten myself killed." Laurens mumbled softly. Philip could see how he blamed himself. Perfect. Now he had to handle two sad adults. 

"... The answer is yes, by the way. Me and your father were together for years before he even met your mom. He was head over heels for her, and I gave him permission to be with her. He has so much love go give, Philip. I thought it would be selfish to try and keep that all to myself."

Philip nodded, slowly understanding. 

"Did Ma know?" He asked quietly.

"I think so. I'm not sure if Alex told her or if she figured it out on her own. She didn't like it, but she never confronted me about it." Laurens fiddled with Alex's hair sadly. 

"... I'm not going to say that I'm not upset, because that would be a lie, but I'm not angry. I just think it's... Weird... I didn't even know my father liked guys... And weren't you dating a girl..?"

Laurens smiled. 

"I understand... And we were faking it. She was gay like me, and we got together to get our parents off of our backs. She was one of my best friends... The gay thing doesn't bother you, right?"

Philip shrugged. 

"No. It's just... He's my Pa." Laurens nodded.

"You should go make yourself some dinner. He's not waking up any time soon. I'll watch him."

Philip nodded and slipped out of the room, mentally processing everything that had happened.


	4. Chapter 4

Philip made a bowl of Ramen Noodles for himself to eat for dinner. When it was done, he set it on the table to let it cool off and went to check on his father again. Laurens was, of course, still in there with him. He gently ran his hand through Hamilton's hair, mumbling sweet nothings to him. Philip's face burned and he turned around and hurried away to go and eat his sad meal. He didn't mind, though. Noodles were great. 

When he was done he got dressed for bed and lied down before pulling out his phone. He noticed immediately that he'd gotten a text from his mom. He fidgeted before opening it up, a bit worried. 

Ma: Hello Philip! How was your day? Are you holding up good with your father?

Philip stared at the text, a small smile creeping onto his face. She cared about him. She still loved him. With all of the family drama going on it was easy to forget that.

Philip: heya ma!! i had an awesome day and i made a new friend! and everythings great here with pa thanks for asking.

He never bothered with putting proper punctuation in his texts. While he was waiting for her to respond, he texted Theodosia. 

Philip: yo theo what you up to.

He got a response from his Mom that simply said 'Call me,' so he did. She picked up the phone immediately. 

"Hey Philip!" Eliza's soft voice came through the phone and Philip smiled.

"Hey Ma... Why'd you want me to call? Is something goin' on?" He felt worry coil up in his stomach. 

"Nah... I just wanted to make sure your father is taking good care of you. Have you two been eating?" Philip hesitated. Should he tell her about his reluctance to eat..? She'd know what to do about it. 

"Pa hasn't been eating much lately, but I've had plenty of food. I don't know how to convince him to eat..." The line went quiet for a few moments before he heard her sigh. 

"Of course he isn't..." He heard her mutter. Philip automatically felt bad. He'd given away his father's personal business to his ex-wife, who pretty much despised him. 

"Listen, sweetie. Your father can't take care of himself, so you're probably going to have to make him eat. If he stops taking care of you properly, contact me immediately, okay? I don't want you to get into any danger. He can be a very reckless man." Philip didn't like it when she said bad things about him. he hated it, in fact. But she had a point.

"He's doing fine, I promise. He's just not used to having someone forcing him to look after himself. He's really selfless, and I think he's actually too busy looking after me to look after himself."

"Alright... And another thing? If your father brings anyone home you're uncomfortable with, you should tell me that in an instant." Philip cringed at the wording. He knew Eliza meant well, but the bitterness in her voice wasn't being completely masked. 

"I understand... He's not seeing anyone now that I know of..." Other than a ghost, but that didn't really count. Eliza scoffed. 

"Just you wait. He'll be bringing girls home soon enough." Philip felt the urge to defend him, but he knew it wouldn't be the best idea. Plus, Eliza was right about all of these things...  
But it still wasn't right to talk bad about him.

"I don't think so, Ma... He hasn't really been leaving the house or talking much, and from what I've heard even the people at his job are saying that he's been unusually quiet. He's still sad. But I think he's starting to get better." Philip said softly in defense of him. 

Eliza's voice grew kinder, more understanding. 

"Phil... I know you care about him still. I do too, just not like that. Make sure he eats and sleeps and you both should be fine, alright? And remember that you can come visit any time. You're still coming over this weekend, right? Bring a friend!"

Philip smiled, thinking immediately of Theodosia. 

"Even if it's a girl?" He asked, smiling softly. A weekend with Theo would be incredibly relaxing and it would make them much closer. Eliza laughed. 

"Sure. Just make sure you have her parents' permission. What's this girl like, huh? Is she pretty? Do you wanna date her?" Philip chuckled at her teasing tone. 

"She's very pretty, but I don't like her like that. She's more like a sister than anything. Her name's Theodosia Burr, and she's just about the sweetest person I've ever met." He heard his mom grow curious. 

"Burr? As in Aaron Burr's daughter? Oh boy. Your father probably has some pretty strong opinions on that." Philip shook his head even though she couldn't see him. 

"He's cool with it, actually. I think him and Mr. Burr have been gettin' along fine." He smiled but looked up to see the angelic form of John Laurens standing at his door. 

"Ah- I gotta go, Ma. I'll talk to you later? Bye, I love you!" He hung up after her response. He stood up and tilted his head. 

"What is it?" He asked. Laurens just smiled. 

"He's finally asleep... I think you should make him something to eat for when he gets up before you go to bed, alright?" Philip agreed and did so. Before he went to bed he went and turned off Alexander's alarm clock so that he could get an extra hour or so of sleep.

He noticed that he still hadn't had a response from Theo. She was probably busy or something. 

\---

The next morning, Philip woke up to see Laurens sitting on the foot of his bed. He was watching the door vigilantly. Philip turned off his phone alarm that he had set previously, since he didn't want his father to have to bother with waking him. 

He sat up and stretched, smiling at Laurens, who gave him a soft smile back. Philip got up and prepared himself for school. He peeked in his dad's room and was pleased to see that he was asleep.

He opened the fridge and frowned at the small amounts of food. He could deal with that. he made him and his father some toast and eggs and he set the plates on the table. He also made his father coffee, since he knew he had trouble without it. He hurried to his father's room and shook him awake gently. 

Unsurprisingly, he bolted awake, confused and scared, causing Philip to chuckle a little. Alexander noticed the time and looked horrified. 

"Did I sleep through my alarm- Oh God Pip I'm sorry-" Philip chuckled and cut him off. 

"No sir. I just thought you could use an extra hour of sleep so I turned the alarm off. I made us breakfast. Please eat." Philip was relieved when he nodded and slipped out of bed.

"Yeah... I'm going back to work today whether my boss likes it or not. It'll be good to have some food in me." Philip nodded and walked downstairs to eat. 

He smiled happily when he saw his father eating without being prompted. He chugged his coffee and returned to his room, most likely to get dressed. Philip waited patiently. He heard the shower and then the blow dryer. 

Alexander seemed visibly distressed when he came back downstairs. He was dressed in formal clothes as usual for his job, and his silky hair was down. Philip was understandably concerned. 

"What's wrong Pa?" He walked over to him, checking him to see if he could tell what was wrong. His dad ran his fingers through his freshly washed hair.

"I... I found grey hairs, Phil. I'm getting old and ugly." Philip would've laughed if he hadn't seemed so utterly devastated. He hugged him comfortingly. He still felt weird for comforting his father as if he were his parent.

"You're not that old, Pa. Stress causes it too. You can barely tell, don't worry. You still look fine." Philip hoped that it was just his father's pride speaking and not his insecurities.

"I think I should dye it- But wouldn't that make me seem sad? Gosh I'm a mess." Philip reassured him that it was a normal thing to be worried about before he walked outside and got in the car, ready to face another day of school. His phone buzzed as he got a message.

Theodosia: I don't know how to answer that question. 

He chuckled to himself.


End file.
